#EmojiMovieFAIL


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Every now and then we hear about these crazy and ‘original’ ideas surfacing from Hollywood.  Whether it is a horrendous TV pilot that barely aired on ABC (like Imaginary Mary!) or a music mash-up that did not mix well with the audience at all.  Either way, these preposterous ideas do make for hilarious news stories.  We’ve had some amazing pop culture that is trending well and laugh at the terrible ones that flopped.

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Earlier this summer I discussed the problem of franchise films this summer (which you can read more about here).  Film ideas stemming from licensed franchises just isn’t cutting it anymore with the audiences.  These days I rarely attend the movies these days since there’s better selections on Netflix.  I thought I’ve heard of every moronic idea for films these days; that is, until I learned about…The Emoji Movie.

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Image result for the emoji movie

I am DEAD serious when I say this folks – we have a franchise film strictly on EMOJIS.  Emojis, as in, those ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’ pixelated messages people send to their contacts every day.  We have scrapped so far down to the barrel that we’re creating a storyline for cartoon picture of a heart that we use on our phones.

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Rather than ramble on about how god awful this summer film is, let’s get down to some intriguing points about this topic.  The Emoji Movie was a TERRIBLE idea for the summer and it’s finally time I explain (with two explanatory reason) what went horrifically wrong with this film.

Here we go….

#EmojiIdeaFAIL

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Image result for the emoji movie

First off, let’s discuss the monstrosity of this mundane film.  The story goes like this: Gene, a multi-expressional emoji living inside a teenager’s phone, sets off on his journey to become a normal ‘meh’ emoji just like his parents; basically, it’s a young character that goes on an adventure to search for himself (where he came from, what his original backstory is) so that his parents would accept him.  The concept of the story may sound intriguing, but its heavily boggled down by having the characters become emojis.

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This whole idea doesn’t work as a franchise film because it’s been played out thousands of time.  This cute and heartwarming type of story has been utilized so many times for films that now it’s being milked for something trite like emojis.  A repetitive theme used for the plot plus a tiresome trend like emojis equals one train wreck of a film.

#EmojiMovieMarketingFAIL

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Take a close look at the billboard for a minute or two.  Before I looked through Buzzfeed, I had NO clue what kind of message was even being relayed to me.  Hi-five me the popcorn July 28th?  Slap me the popcorn calendar?  WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN?!?

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Image result for Emoji Movie Billboard

If you were just as confused as I was, you are not alone.  This billboard had audiences so perplexed about the message that they turned off from the whole idea itself (this is one of those scenarios that you DON’T want happening during your marketing promotion strategy!).  Even after the trailer released, the film was panned by many critics.  Some social media users were so outraged that they decided to ban the film altogether (one user called for a boycott simply because it was ‘dumb as fuck’).  Other than the franchise film itself being ridiculous, the promotional stunt failed to reach its audience.

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And there you have it, two explanatory reasons for why this god-awful film flopped with its audiences.  The Emoji Movie took viewers to a really watered-down and monotonous world of emojis and provided a cliched story about a young man searching for his home.  It is not interesting nor an original film to check out.  This is definitely one of those films to skip after blazing some good cannabis (I could never enjoy this even after a bowl of Citrix).

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Here’s to hoping that there’s a revived childhood classic franchise that is worth watching in theaters.  For right now, I’ll skip the ticket and take my movie-viewing experience over to Netflix.

MakeSandcastlesNotWar Binge-Watches The Ozarks


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Afternoon, fellow readers!  Summer has still been amazing here in MA and we’re peaking into the middle of August.  It’s the last leg of summer (which I still can’t believe!), so I’ve been trying to spend more of my time outdoors as possible.  Even after a busy day of working, I still manage to snag some time for Netflix and Chill.

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Last week I discussed the incredibly colorful Castlevania series; it was there that I also mentioned that I was digging into The Ozarks soon after.  I shifted gears from the action-packed horror nostalgic animated series to a shocking crime drama/thriller series revolving around the workings of a financial planner.  It’s time to discuss the magnificent (and familiar) series titled The Ozarks.

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Image result for Netflix The Ozarks

Released almost a month ago on Netflix, The Ozarks follows financial planner Martin ‘Marty’ Byrd as he relocates his family to the Missouri Ozarks after his money laundering scheme goes awry.  After his scheme failed, he must pay off his crippling debt to the Mexican drug lord.  It’s a strategic crime thriller featuring money laundering, drugs, betrayal, and other disturbing occurrences.  This season features ten episodes within 60-minutes each one.

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I definitely enjoyed watching The Ozarks after a few nights of binge-watching!  Right off the bat, the story seemed eerily similar to Breaking Bad in an amazing way.  Both main stars decided to work with drug cartels after feeling tired of their mundane lives (Walter White as a high school chemistry teacher and Marty Byrd as a financial planner).  When it comes to the trouble both characters get themselves into, we dive right into Marty’s shenanigans whereas with Breaking Bad we slowly delve into the madness that is Walter White’s production of methamphetamine.

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Both series has everything you could ask for in a drug-fueled thriller – Money being wired everywhere, tons of drugs being shipped out to consumers, secrets being kept from family/friends, and a continuing train wreck that progressively gets worse as the story goes on.  What also made both series incredible were the various symbolisms featured within each episode.  Every small clip before the title cards of Breaking Bad featured a clue (whether that be a flash back or important item to pay close attention to).  The Ozarks presented the clues a little more discreetly with their title cards showcasing a white ‘O’ featuring four objects within the letter.  These four objects would present a small aspect of what will happen in the episode.  Not only does The Ozarks give us some great action, but there’s some beautiful philosophy behind the story.

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If you’re surfing Netflix for a new drug crime thriller series, The Ozarks is definitely the way to go.  This haunting thriller has some disturbing secrets lurking within the Missouri Ozarks.  Breaking Bad fans may have enjoyed Walter White’s meth production in the New Mexico deserts and they’ll certainly enjoy Marty’s money laundering scheme in the lakes of Missouri.  While it doesn’t come with colorful junkie characters like Jesse Pinkman (Yeah, science!), The Ozarks does have its fair share of drug dealing thugs.

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With that, The Ozarks is one of many amazing series out on Netflix.  Kick back on a cool night and binge-watch some of The Ozarks this summer!